I got this off a friend, Eric G's site.  I modified it to fit a gay answerer.  It's fun, try it.  For the Straight version, visit Eric's site at http://ericwg888.spaces.live.com/  Copy and Paste what he has - don't mess his answers up - on to a WORD document and answer the questions and post on your website,  When you do, your Network should get an email notifying that there is a new blog on your site and they can read it.  Here's mine:

 

 

SHARE:
1. Last beverage→ Pepsi.
2. Last phone call→ My neighbor.
3. Last text message→ don’t text message.
4. Last song you listened to- I Will Follow You Into The Dark.
5. Last time you cried→ two months ago when my dog died.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → no.
7. Been cheated on?--> yes.
9. Lost someone special?→ yes. Several.
10. Been depressed?→ yes.
11. Been drunk? yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Yellow.
13. Peach.
14. Green.

15. Made new friends → yes.
16. Fallen out of love → yes. 
17. Laughed until you cried → yep.
18. Met someone who changed you→ yes.
19. Found out who your true friends were→ you betcha.
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list --> no.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life→ 2.
23. How many kids do you want to have→ none.
24. Do you have any pets-> 2-cats, 1-dog.
25. Do you want to change your name → no. 
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ spent it alone.
27. What time did you wake up today – 10:18am.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Playing solitaire on my solsuite software.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → gene splicing procedure to lessen the symptoms of parkinson’s. 
30. Last time you saw your father – when I was 34 yrs old.  I love him and miss him.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life ? why bother?
32. What are you listening to right now- The sound of the fan in my computer tower.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yes; several.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Parkinson’s.
36. Whats your real name → James Michael.
37. Relationship Status → Single.
38. Zodiac sign--> Cancer.
39. Male or female→ Male.
40. Elementary School→ Our Lady of Sorrows, St. Louis, MO.
41. Middle School → Doesn’t apply.
42. High school → St. Louis University High School.        
43. Hair color → brown.
44. Long or short → short.
45. Height →6’1”.
46. Do you have a crush on someone?--> yes.
47. What do you like about yourself? --> resilient.
48. Piercings → nope.
49. Tattoos → nope there too.
50. Righty or lefty → right.

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → subaceous cyst on my back.
52. First piercing → none.
53. First tattoo—> tuberculosis vaccine.
54. First best friend --> John Forsing.
55. First sport you joined → soccer.
56. First pet → Dog “Skippy”.
57. First vacation remembered --> California.
58. First concert → Three Dog Night – Fort Worth, TX.
59. First crush→ Mike S. (he didn’t know it  until much later)
60. First alcoholic drink- beer.

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating →  Jumbo Multi-Grain Krispies.
62. Drinking → milk.
63. I'm about to – start a blog.
64. Listening to → the fan in my computer tower.
65. Waiting to – be inspired.  

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids?--> hell no.
67. Want to get married?--> can’t – fucking intolerant holier than me religious right says god won’t allow it.
68. Careers in mind?- enjoying retirement. 

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX? - GAY
69. Lips or eyes → lips – the redder the better.
70. Hugs or kisses → kisses but both are good.
71. Shorter or taller → don’t care.
72. Older or Younger → usually a little younger.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneous.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms --  arms.
75. Tattoos or piercing’s—> tattoos.
76. Sensitive or loud →  sensitive.
77. Hook-up or relationship →  relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant – trouble maker.

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger →  no.
80. Drank hard liquor →  yes.
81. Lost glasses/contacts → yes.
82. Sex on first date →  yes.
83. Broken someone's heart → I doubt it.
84. Had your own heart broken → Oh hell yes.
85. Been arrested?→ yep.
86. Turned someone down → yes.
87. Cried when someone died → yes.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl – yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → I do now.
90. Miracles → no.
91. Love at first sight → no.
92. Heaven → no.
93. Santa Claus → nope.
94. Kissing on the first date? → yes.
95. Angels → no.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → no.
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever?→ yes.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → water.
100. Posting this as 100 truth? → yes.

 

Well, the Holy Fodder is visiting the poor blacks in Africa, you know, the ones who he keeps denying the use of condoms because he thinks they lead to promiscuity and sexual indiscretions and the poor African people keep passing around Aids.  He must have allowed priests to keep a supply of them in the rectories across the world because the priests sure had enough sex with the altar boys so they must have had access to condoms.  Well, it’s the same damn logic, isn’t it?  Withhold condoms and people will reduce their frequency of sexual encounters.  What a friggin bonehead.  Has anyone seen this great cartoon by Tony Auth?    It says it all!   What a pompous, arrogant (fill in the blank)

 

The Vatican stole a page from the Muslim Terrorist’s Manual by announcing via a press conference in Rome the formation of Nun’s with Guns, a counter-terrorist organization that will be deployed to assist the American military in Afghanistan and armies of other nations embroiled in Islamic hot spots throughout the world.

 

Having long been the object of fear and terror, the Catholic Nuns have been pressed into service by His Holiness Benedict the XVI, once a disseminator of terror and torture as a member of Hitler’s Youth Group and later the SS, who was praying in his bedroom when suddenly the Blessed Virgin appeared to him and said, “Benny, I can’t believe you hadn’t thought of this but we have the oldest group of religious terrorists at our disposal: the Catholic Elementary School Nuns who have shoveled more bullshit and instilled so much fear in the hearts of countless Catholic school children causing them to blindly follow the Church which, with it’s juvenile dogma, is no small feat.  If they can accomplish such mind control and fear, use them to counter the Islamic terrorists that are spreading lies about me and Jesus.”

 

“Jesus and I” corrected Benny.

 

“What?”  screamed Mary, “you sanctimonious Nazi headed pompous ass, turd, how dare you correct my English.  I’ll send you down to Hell and you can suck Hitler’s dick for all eternity!  Get it?  Now, mien kook, what about me and Jesus getting our revenge?”

 

“I’ll get right on it, Fraulien Blessed Mother!” said Benny, shakily.

 

With that, Mary was gone leaving Benny to contemplate what she requested.  “She’s right!  We have the most effective terrorists group in the world with the Elementary School Nuns who can make a Jew believe the Holocaust never happened!  Which, of course it didn’t, but the Jews don’t want to believe it.  Sister Angelus could quite effectively fight the Islamic terrorists on their own turf – bullshit propaganda.  She and her sisters have done it very effectively for decades.  I think I’ll call her to Rome and tell her my plans for her and the School Sistas of the Hood – Motha Fuckas.”  He calls the “Matha Fuckas Motha House” in Philly and orders Sista Angelus to Rome for a meeting.

 

The next afternoon, Sister Angelus arrives at the Pope’s private office in the Vatican.  “Angelus of the Motha Fucka, it’s so good to see your big ass in my country!  Welcome sista!” says Benny.

 

“Hi, you little Nazi pipsqueak, how the fuck are you?  You still messin with the Jews, re-appointing your fellow Youth Group commando bishop who denied the Holocaust ever happened, back to full time duty in the office of the commissioner of Truth Verification?  That took some cool to do that, Benny,” laughs Mother Angelus.

 

“What’d you call me here for, anyway?” asks Angelus.

 

“The Blessed Virgin appeared to me while I was praying and told me to gather a group of elementary school nuns to form a counter-terrorists and propaganda bullshit group to oppose Islamic terrorists where ever they may be!” states Benny.

 

“What the fuck, over.  The Blessed Mother is real?  You pray?  I never would have guessed it!” Angelus says.

 

“Hell yes I pray!  Well, I did that night.  It was a photo-op and I was making some great tabloid pics of me leaning on a kneeler, head in my hand and a terrible look of sorrow on my face; great guilt getter!  As far as Mary goes, its true I only see her when I drink too much communion wine and, admittedly she looks and talks a lot like Mrs. Franzetti, one of my cleaning ladies; but what the hell, I am the Pope so if I say its Mary, its Mary!” Benny said, excitedly.

 

“I agree, your holiness!  So, you want me to kick some Islamic butt, eh?  I would love to.  I’m your girl, Herr Pope!” Angelus laughs. “I’ll get a group of the meanest, most disgruntled, unhappy, horny, puckered ass prostitutes, er nuns, you ever met.  Some real fighting forces to be reckoned with.  We’ll swoop down on those candy ass would be tough boy Muslims and scare ‘em shitless. We’ll out propaganda, lie and swear to it all just like we do to those little whores and cowboys we screw over in elementary school.  Hell, its right up our alley!” Angelus says.

 

“Great!  I knew I could count on you and your tribe of malcontents.” Benny shouted!  “We’ll call you Nuns With Guns because it looses a lot if we call you Nuns With Lies!  This will be great times ahead for our Income Retirement Account and our Investment Portfolio in general” says His Holiness.  “We’ll show those Islamic sons a bitches just who they’re fucking with!”

If you read my previous blog, “The Nearly Impossible Dream”, you had to come away with the sense of anger I have toward the Catholic Church and religion in general.  I am an outsider, one of the abominations described with so much vile in Leviticus and other books from the old testament and then by Paul, Agustin, Constantine and other early leaders in the church that were “sinners” in their youths but defenders of the Church in their later years (when they could no longer get a hard-on) who were renown for their hard line teachings that were the typical right wing philosophy of their day as well as today; judgmental of others, never of themselves or those just like them, and filled with condemnations of all things that were considered sinful in and of themselves, no proof needed (e.g. abortion, homosexuality, and later, inter-racial marriage). The condemnations came from men who were members of the religious right who obviously felt that Jesus didn’t do a good enough job when he was here on earth because these were major sins that were not given the coverage they were due. 

 

It’s not like Jesus didn’t get angry and condemn men for things that upset Him and His Father as when He attacked the money changers in the Temple.  That truly upset Him and He felt was an affront to His Father as well.  Why then did he not get angry and make strong statements against abortion and homosexuality if, as the religious right would have us believe, they were so offensive to God, His Father?  I think it is obvious that these are not sins at all and most assuredly, are not major offenses to God.  Being a Rabbi, Jesus would have held the belief that a child receives his/her soul when it draws its first breath.  Before that time, it was not human and could be terminated in the womb.  Being God as well as a Rabbi, He would have known that to be the case otherwise He would have corrected that belief and stated that abortion is indeed a serious sin.

 

As far as homosexuality is concerned, it is not an abomination to God because Jesus would have said such in very powerful terms as He did with the money changers.  An evangelical minister who I was conversing with about homosexuality attempted to answer my question “if homosexuality was such an abomination to God, why didn’t Jesus make a point to rigorously condemn it?” by stating that it was not an issue while Jesus was here on earth.  Jesus was more concerned with the sins that were prevalent in His time.”   I have a problem with that answer.  First, the Old Testament Books such as Leviticus, Genesis, Daniel and Sodom and Gomorrah, were very vocal on condemning homosexuality, so it was a big deal.  Second, even if it weren’t the hot topic of the day, Jesus is God, He has a personal relationship with His Father and, had homosexuality been an abomination as the teachings of the times professed, He would have made numerous strong statements that it was as was taught in the Old Testament.

 

If you believe, as all Christians do, that Jesus is God and that He was sent down to earth to tell us, first hand, what He expected of us, then, to me, the only conclusion is that abortion and homosexuality are not sins and that homosexuality is not an abomination to God His Father, Himself.  I mean, He didn’t just forget to mention them!

 

I am very interested in hearing your thoughts on the subject.  If you would answer my questions “if homosexuality was such an abomination to God, why didn’t Jesus make a point to rigorously condemn it?” I would appreciate it.  If you want to leave a comment that you agree or disagree and leave it at that that would be good, too.  Thank you.

 

June, 2009, will mark the 50^th anniversary of my graduation from Our Lady of Sorrows elementary school in St. Louis.  What a great Catholic name it had; so full of guilt and, well, sorrow.  As if the name wasn’t enough to do the job, there was a statue of Mary, sitting on the ground holding the lifeless body of Jesus in her lap, looking up to heaven her eyes welled with tears.  If I looked at it too long it made me cry.

 

Now, fifty years later when I think about the statue and the name that went with it, I wonder why it no longer has that power over me.  I saw through the propaganda the Catholic Church has so diligently deployed over the millennia keeping their followers in line like the timid sheep they will always be, content to remain in the back of the cave, all too willing to forgo any attempt to take a stand, question authority and make a choice or two while living their life here on earth. Instead, they are satisfied with believing, or more likely buying into, the official dogmas of a church that, like many churches, instills the greatest fear of all, that of losing your soul, into the mainstream members who, without question, trust and believe in their leaders who blatantly preach one thing then practice whatever makes the leadership content and living a life of wealth, pleasure and power.

 

Look at the big Honcho, the Pope.  The man is the absolute ruler of the church.  Over the years, precious little happens without his consent.  The average Catholic holds the Pope in the highest esteem, believing him to no longer be mortal but some how nearly an equal with God.  Look at the current Pope, Benny the 16^th I think it is.  He’s a squeaky little man who lives a life of opulence, ease and indulgence.  He heads his own country, lives in a palace with cooks, servants, tailors, chauffeurs, security guards; hell everything a man could want or hope for.  He is constantly looking for ways to increase his wealth and strengthen his portfolio.  Just the type of individual who you expect to be a leader of a church, a spiritual organization dedicated to saving souls.

 

I’m being sarcastic there, in case you missed it!  The real Christ, when he visited us two thousand years ago to grant us salvation and we nailed him to a cross for his trouble, was anything but similar to the present day Pope; or any previous Pope save the one who chose the name John Paul I and who, upon declaring that he intended to return the art treasures stolen from the wealthy Jewish families by the Nazis as part of the holocaust and that were in turn given to the Catholic Church by those same Nazis in return for safe passage to South America where the Church had sufficient power to protect them, suddenly and without warning suffered a major heart attack (probably caused by a knife to the heart) and died.  Wow, that was a close call; the Catholic Church could have lost some serious bread had John Paul I lived to carry out his plan.  But, not to worry because things are back as they have always been and the pope remains one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the world, with Rush Limbaugh running a distant second.

 This being the 50^th anniversary of my graduating from Our Lady of Sorrows, I am helping some of my classmates, who I haven’t seen in 50 years, organize a class reunion. It is somewhat perplexing to see them still in the throws of the church’s dogmas that I have long ago rejected as ridiculous (e.g. the priests working a miracle at every mass, changing bread and wine into Christ’s body and blood, or my favorite nonsense the assumption of Mary, body and spirit, into heaven – I always prayed for her that she wouldn’t get hit by an airplane while hanging somewhere in heaven in the sky) and at best the imagination of a group of megalomaniacs gone horribly wrong!  But, after having met with my oldest if not current friends and seeing how happy they are, devoted to their church and its teachings, compared to my anger at the lies and misdeeds over the centuries by evil, selfish men, and always trying to uncover the truth behind their phony proclamations, seeking reasons for their invented dogmas and searching for justice for their ruining countless lives and destroying hope in those who dared to oppose them, I have to ask myself “who’s the idiot, here?  Them for blindly following juvenile, fabricated “truths” and allowing themselves to be duped by these soul-saving charlatans using religion to maintain the wealth and power of the leadership, or me, tilting against windmills with nothing more than words to combat their words and a desire to see these bastards remanded to a place where they can do no more harm to their fellow planetary travelers?  Yep, it’s me, the unhappy, angry one who has fought for gay rights and equality for the last 35 years or more, arguing against religion’s lies and misdeeds.  I may be the idiot in a rusty suit of armor riding a tired, old donkey, but in Part 2 of this blog, I want to tell you why I think it’s worth the effort and the risk. Please leave any question or comment you might have and I will be happy to answer them.   

“Oh, the Bible tells me so!”  And just what might that be, Pilgrim?  Most of the bible thumpers who sit by the thousands in Mega-Churches across the Western half of the good ole U.S. of A. bobb their heads up and down in syncopation with the minister who is on stage plying his trade, making these simple minded droids believe that these here words in Leviticus and Daniel or maybe Geneses (no, not Phil Collins), were given to us by God so we’d know how He felt about things and what pissed Him off and what pleased Him.  Never mind that these words were written by radical, religious right Jewish counterparts to the evangelical, fundamentalists preachers of today who still use some of the words that were in the original text but not all because some just don’t fit their needs as well as the ones they changed to.  I mean, ya can’t keep preaching that women are impure which is proven by “their time of the month.”  Quite honestly, I can’t imagine any of the women I know today who would go along with the idea of sleeping in a tent in the back yard until they stopped leaking!  I know I sure as hell wouldn’t suggest it!  (Besides, if every twenty eight days men got a nose bleed for a week, that would be interpreted as a good thing; a sign that God loves us!)

 

Well, that notion is far outdated and proven to be wrong.  Imagine that, God giving us something that was wrong.  Hmmm.  He kind of went a little off the righteous road condoning slavery on one hand and then saying to treat a stranger as if he were a brother, too.  Oh well, He missed a few but got it right about them homosexuals though!  Nailed them right to the tree, He did!  He said “you all are an abomination and I spit you out!”  No, I said that wrong, I think.  He didn’t say I spit you out” because that sounds like what they do and He wouldn’t, you know, do that!  I think He said I’ll spit on you when I see you.”  You’ll have to forgive me because I was raised Catholic and wasn’t allowed to read the bible.  Them priests read it and told us what it said so we wouldn’t need to and maybe become confused. You know like when they put their hands down your pants and check for lice.  That ain’t a homosexual thing, that’s health related.  I thought it was right courteous of Father to check me for lice, lick my penis clean then tell me how much he cared for me!  Kinda strange though when he kept asking me “whose your father?” while checking his crotch for lice.  I kept trying to tell him that he knew who my daddy was because he saw me and my dad and mother every Sunday at 10:00 o’clock mass.  A friend of mine who also was checked by Father for that dangerous crotch lice told me that Father’s cum switch got stuck.  I guess he needs to see his doctor and get that checked.

 

Later on in my life, I took some time to read the bible that I wasn’t supposed to read as a Catholic child growing up.  As I was reading the Old Testament, the Jewish half of the book, I couldn’t help but notice the harsh, judgmental words that were always addressed to others, were in the same vein as the words and mannerism of the Evangelical, Fundamentalist preachers on TV who were always saving someone’s soul and collecting a hefty fee for doing it too.  “Now Douglas, me and Jesus saved you from the curse of demon alcohol and have given you the gift of salvation in Jesus’ name.  Since there’s no such thing as a free lunch, I’m sure you know that there’s no free salvation cures, either.  What would Jesus consider fair?  How much did you make last year?  Send it in!  Praise Jesus and the tax free church donation!”

 

One thing troubled me, when I got to the New Testament and read the words of Jesus, they were calmer, quieter, loving words.  There was none of those screaming, condemning, judgmental tirades that the preachers like to do, referencing Jesus while they do it.  He never cried out about homosexuals being the abomination the preachers claim either; nor did he condemn a woman for having an abortion.  Now that confuses me.  If God His Father found homos to be an abomination, couldn’t abide them, why wasn’t Jesus delivering that same message that you can hear from the preachers.  No, instead he preached about helping the poor, loving your neighbor, helping one another, praying to God often but in silence; just between you and Him.  I like the New Testament until I got to Paul and some of his writings.  He must have needed the money because he got right back on the morality bandwagon and preached hell fire and brimstone.  It’s a shame, too, because we follow the Old Testament rules of morality and Paul’s condemnation of sexual contact even though he was known to be a triple peckered Billy goat until he could no longer get it up and he suddenly realized the evil of his ways.  It’s like the religious right invoke Jesus’ name but not his teachings.  I guess there’s much more money you can scare out of a person rather than love it out of them.  I just hope Jesus didn’t get in trouble with His Father for not sending them homos to hell.  Oh well, He’s God, He’ll get over it!

 

If we get out of this recession that is upon us as well as the Stimulus Package that was thrust upon us, we will be damn lucky!  True to form, our crooks in Washington (a.k.a. politicians of all stripes) continue to follow orders delivered by lobbyists with thousand dollar bills hanging from their coat pockets, and will once again employ good ole trickle down economics, but with the trickle severely reduced, this time stopping just below the top one tenth of a percent of Americans (Bankers and other Financial Oligarchs who rule this country and the world) and no farther.  So, dear readers, if you think you are getting trickled, think again; they are pissing on you and enjoying themselves immensely!  Think about it, these crooks somehow took four hundred and twenty Billion dollars and had nothing to show for it except to more than double interest rates on their credit cards, explaining that they did so to make up for the bad debt that they were instrumental in establishing.  Oh boy, only in America!

 

Now we are getting ready to give them even more money, only this time the gang of thieves is going to tell us what they will do with the money.  Wanna bet?  They’ll come up with some bullshit about re-issuing home loans for the homebuyers who couldn’t maintain the loans that these mother truckers issued, knowing full well the loans were bogus and would collapse under their own weight.  These clowns will go unpunished for the largest financial shell game in the history of the world and end up making more money to boot.  Just watch, you’ll see.  The Rich get richer; the poor get screwed! (or trickled on – same thing)

 

And now that Congress and the President are all pumped and in the mood to spend money, they are once again addressing the Social Security System.  Our kindly Congressmen are trying to give social security benefits consisting of a stipend plus healthcare to illegal Aliens (no, not those who came here on the Mother Ship and walk among us) those coming up from Mexico, down from Canada and in from both coasts.  Rumor has it there are 20 million of these poor bastards all doing work that we are told no one else wants to do.  Well, from what I can see, much of that is true as shown last year when much of the fruit was left unpicked as were the various vegetables that Americans rely on these illegal farm workers to pick and get to market.  Hell, many of these farm workers even pay into social security and pay taxes. 

 

Where I got into a shit hemorrhage over all of this is when I had to go on disability in 2005 at age sixty due to Parkinson’s (which I had for five years before I couldn’t work any longer), the social security office worker told me that I was entitled to thirty seven hundred dollars a month based on my length of service and salary, BUT my benefit would be reduced to nineteen hundred dollars a month because I had a Retirement IRA.  That’s right, I was punished for saving money and trying to be fiscally responsible and carrying my own weight.  As far as my IRA goes, it is presently worth much less than it was when I applied for disability because I lost money over the years in the dot.com mess in 1999/2000 and now this severe recession that brought it down again to its current level.  However, as I watched my IRA tumble, no one from Social Security called and said they would up my monthly stipend!  Probably my fault.  As I left the Social Security office, I should have turned to the clerk and said “Vaya con Dios, mi Amiga!”  She might have thought I was a retarded illegal and gave me more money!

 

I’m sorry, but to me that is just plain bullshit!  I put money in the system for thirty seven years, it’s my money and I should get the full benefit of my paying the social security tax.  However, my government is more concerned with the welfare of non-Americans than they give a damn about their own citizens.  As I said earlier, the illegal aliens who work in many jobs throughout American business and agriculture do, for the most part, pay taxes and therefore should be entitled to some help should they get sick while here.  However, I feel strongly that a monthly stipend plus, in some cases Medicare benefits, are uncalled for.  For me and other American workers to begin receiving our monthly social security payment, we have to stop working; completely if on disability and severely reduced if just retired but healthy enough to work.  I do receive Medicare because of my disability but, if not for that, I would need to wait until I turned sixty five.  Let’s at least play by the same rules or, if you want to favor anyone, favor the Americans who need social security to survive, not someone who sneaks in and takes advantage of everything they can but shouldn’t receive in the first place.

 

I am writing our President and urging him to veto the bill working its way through the Senate and asking him to send it back to eliminate the stipend and Medicare.  If we can’t give our own people viable retirements and healthcare, why the hell are we giving it to those who don’t belong here?  I guess I need to sneak into Mexico and then back across the fucking border every Monday morning to get an increase in my social security?  It looks that way to me!

Probably the best example of how bad a situation can become when left in control of leaders who are members of the extreme Right and extreme Left is the burdensome condition that exists in the Middle East between Israel and the Arab nations.  The unyielding mindset on both sides make it impossible for a cease fire to last more than a couple of days, much less any hope for peace.  Somehow, moderates on both sides will have to wrench the power from the extremists and, in an act of true courage and humility, say to the other side, “Enough!  We, Arab/Israeli, renounce violence as the means to settle our disagreements with one another and we pledge that we will vigorously police our own people and punish those who perpetrate this violence/hatred between us.  We will do this because we want to live in peace with our neighbors and enjoy the safety and trust that only peace can provide.  We are sorry for the violence we brought against you and we promise to work diligently to eradicate it from our land.”

 

Like that’s going to happen!  First of all, the radicals on both the Left and Right have never said “I’m sorry” and they are not about to start saying it now.  The word sorry is not in their vocabulary and therefore is not in their thought process.  This is because for them to say they’re sorry carries with it the admission that they made a mistake; something they are not willing to do.

 

Besides, if both sides choose peace and prosperity over war and desolation, where’s the fun in that?  The leaders of the Israelis and Palestinians would loose much of their power and prestige.  They would no longer enjoy the admiration they receive from convincing their citizens that only they can protect and defend the country from the madmen on the other side who want to destroy it.   The Palestinians would not get to fire these neat little rockets that have no control mechanism and that hit somewhere in the Jewish neighborhood that they were aimed at.  They could hit a school, hospital, apartment building, anything as long as there was a Star of David on it.  The Israelis, on the other hand, would not get to drive their tanks over parked vehicles in Palestinian neighborhoods and fly their jets unchallenged into Palestinian airspace launching rockets and dropping bombs on buildings, schools and hospitals that they suspect are harboring Palestinian terrorists. 

 

After expending all of this violence and hatred towards one another, both sides observe rituals designed to make them better people and children of God.  The Jews observe the Ten Days of Repentance which begin with Rosh Hashanah and end with Yom Kippur.  During these Ten Days, a Jew attempts to amend his behavior and seek forgiveness for wrongdoings against God and his fellow man.  Many of the Israelis spend much of the ten days with their fingers crossed and hidden behind their backs in the hope that God will not notice while they promise to lead better, more peaceful lives.  The Palestinians celebrate a month long observance called Ramadan, during which time they pray for forgiveness of their transgressions against God and man, ask for patience, NOW, and learn tips on how to better launch those neat little rockets in the hope of hitting a synagogue as opposed to just a school, hospital or apartment building.

 

Still hoping for peace in the Middle East?  Well, you keep praying and asking God to perform the mother of all miracles.  But be forewarned, it’s been reported that She is at the other side of the universe and was heard to say “I can’t hear you!  What’s that you’re asking for?  Whirled peas?  I can do that; no problem!”